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Welcome to the Haven (backstory).

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Welcome to the Haven (backstory).

Post by Evan on Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:32 pm

Inspired by Evil, I have decided to write about my expieriances. These are true, whether you believe them or not.

Backstory:

In my neighboor hood, there lies an in. No longer used, is presides as more of a landmark than anything else. Part of the house lies in pieces, where it was struck by lightning and charred. The rest of it... is haunted by the Smiths. Tom Smith was a loving husband and father of 3. He ran the local inn, The Haven. Many say he was as kind as you could imagine. His son was the eldest, at 18, Tommy was helping the inn function. His two daughters (Jewel, 16 and Ruby, 8.) were currently in school. Until he heard that his wife, Margaret, had been cheating on him, he had been happy. Once he had figured out this was true, he became unstable. Unable to control his rage, he quickly grabbed his shotgun, and threatened his wife. He said that either she left or he did. As Margaret gathered her things and the children, Tom loaded the gun. He pushed Margaret down. "What are you doing?" She said. "Only what you've done to me." Tom replied. A shot rang out. Margaret screamed, and drowned into the pool of blood expelling from her chest. "Mommy!" Young Ruby screamed. Only eight, she had no idea what was going on. Another shot rang out. This one was followed by silence. First was one thud. "Dad, why are you doing this?" Jewel cried. "Have you gone insane?" Tommy bellowed. Two shots. Then another two thuds. And a final shot. And a final thud. The Smith family was dead.

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Re: Welcome to the Haven (backstory).

Post by EvilOreo on Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:38 pm

This was a really good story. DAMN.. Poor Tommy!! I think if you're going to add dialogue start a new sentence on the next line. Overall I think you should go into detail. ;b
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Re: Welcome to the Haven (backstory).

Post by Evan on Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:47 pm

It'll go into detail more when I actually write it. Which will probably be later tonight.

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;b

Post by EvilOreo on Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:03 pm

Overall it was good :DD
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Re: Welcome to the Haven (backstory).

Post by Evan on Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:54 pm

The sad thing is its true.

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Re: Welcome to the Haven (backstory).

Post by Frashu on Tue Dec 28, 2010 9:44 pm

So I guess someone died D:.

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