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tale of blades: chapter 1: mythos (part 1 of 6)

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tale of blades: chapter 1: mythos (part 1 of 6)

Post by samurott on Wed May 23, 2012 9:55 pm

mythos the legendary katana made from the bones and scales of dragons and forged in pure ether the blade has the power to controll the very mana of the universe this blade was named mythos as the blade sank into legend the blade is still to this day not found some say it was cast into the pits of distruction others say it rests in the center of the universe. many have tried and no one has brought the blade back from its unknown resting place who made the blade? is this just a tall tale?



not even the divines know.
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Re: tale of blades: chapter 1: mythos (part 1 of 6)

Post by Awakening on Wed May 23, 2012 10:20 pm

The issues here are... Um:

-Capitalization (You have none whatsoever)
-Spelling (distruction -> destruction/controll -> control)
-Shallow attempt at writing a background (It needs far more background if you're going that route.) Less isn't more in this case.
-Punctuation (That first "sentence" is 70 words long, and that's without any commas. Run on much?)

Please reconsider continuing to post the rest unless you fix up this one first.


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Re: tale of blades: chapter 1: mythos (part 1 of 6)

Post by L on Wed May 23, 2012 10:39 pm

Mythos, the legendary katana made from the bones and scales of dragons and forged in pure ether, this blade has the power to control the very mana of the universe. This blade was named Mythos as the blade sank into legend. The blade is still to this day not found. Some say it was cast into the pits of destruction, others say it rests in the center of the universe. many have tried and no one has brought the blade back from its unknown resting place. Who made the blade? Is this just a tall tale?

~I fixed it up some for you c:

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Re: tale of blades: chapter 1: mythos (part 1 of 6)

Post by Safiliwen on Sat May 26, 2012 7:32 am

Hmmm, the background still seems a bit vauge but that could be me.

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Re: tale of blades: chapter 1: mythos (part 1 of 6)

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